What If…We Spend This Time Thinking

What if we keep doing our 🌟best? I posed that question last Sunday. What does that mean to you? What is our 🌟best? Your 🌟best? My 🌟best?

I felt that I was doing my 🌟best in life before the quarantine started. Now, I’m not so sure. I THOUGHT I was doing my 🌟best. I was trying, that’s true. Was I really succeeding? Sometimes.

IMG_2260My old normal was busy. The family 📅calendar that hangs in the laundry room was color-coded with events that seem to piggyback on each other. I was continually running from one thing to the next. School to 🏐sports to practices to appointments to family events to errands. You probably know exactly the kind of days I’m talking about. I could always make it happen. No matter how much was piled on my plate, I found a way to finish it all. And- I managed to do anything that had to be done with a big 😀smile plastered on my face.

Yep- I had that routine down. ✅I thought I was at my best when in perpetual motion.

Busyness seemed to suit me. I found reasons to go to 🎯Target if there was downtime. I made separate outings to fill up my 🚗gas tank or 📬mail a letter. I ran to the grocery store for one item. I filled a void of noise with my own voice. Busyness didn’t always mean that I was doing something important. It was often just busyness for the sake of being busy.

Then, quarantine came along and forced a ❌shutdown of my busyness. It wasn’t a gradual shutdown at our house, either. We take the scientific recommendations of this pandemic seriously. Our shutdown was abrupt. 💥BOOM! We were at 🏠home.

No more work. No more 📚school. No 🍜dinners in restaurants. No 🏐volleyball practices or tournaments. No unnecessary stops to wander through shops. No weekend 🚗road trips. No hanging out with friends. No ⛪church on Sunday mornings.IMG_2269

Don’t get me wrong. I am one of the 🍀lucky ones. I adore my quarantine crew. I’m still able to be a virtual teacher while earning a 💰paycheck. Angelina still tackles her high school classes even though she couldn’t have 👟track season. Ken finds projects to do at 🏠home during his layoff, receives unemployment funds, and hopes to return to his job. We have made the best of the situation, for sure.

We had a conversation the other night about feeling 🌺calm and 🌈peaceful right now. Spending time at home has been a wonderful break together. Stopping the busyness has been a 🎁gift we didn’t realize that was needed. We’re aware of the importance of staying safe to get some control over the spread of COVID-19, and we’re following the guidelines. The quarantine, however, has done more than keep us safe from a virus.

I’ve learned that I do pretty well with calmness. It’s therapeutic. I like the 🙉silence. I 💖love the slowness. I like the moments for thinking, for breathing.

When this is over, I don’t want to jump back on the 🏃race track. I want to move deliberately. It is 🔎crystal clear now that I was going through motions- doing what was expected at breakneck speeds.  Waking up to my ⏰alarm, already feeling 😴tired, and hitting the pillow hard every night. I’m sure days or even weeks like that will happen again. I just want to be more mindful of my time.

I don’t want to let go of these 🌺gentle moments. I want to read more. 🤔Think deeper. Listen to learn and not just to respond. Find the 💫magical moments in my everyday life that were there all along. I just never slowed down long enough to fully appreciate them. I took them in briefly before feeling the push to move on to the next thing. Maybe I was even a bit uncomfortable in the 🙉quiet moments. The rush felt good. The race was satisfying. Constant movement 😍made me feel 😍productive. The energy of busyness was 😍intoxicating.

So is tranquility.💖

I have a new question this week. Who do you want to be when this is over? I want to be someone who is present. I plan to hold onto this newfound 💖love of a peaceful pause. I want to be someone who takes a hushed intermission every now and then. I know the busyness will find its way back to me. This time, though, I will understand the value of being 🌺still sometimes, and I won’t feel guilty about it. Spending moments in stillness will allow me to be fully present in life, even in those times of chaos that will surely return.

I want to be the person who is fully engaged in even the smallest moments without creating a 📝grocery list in my head or writing at the same time that I’m 🍲cooking dinner. Multitasking is an illusion. I just think I’m doing it all. I’m really missing out on the 🌺beautiful subtleties in life that I will only see when I am present.

Some things probably won’t change! 😂Just being honest. Even though I appreciate the 🌺calm moments like never before, I am hardwired with 💥energy. I understand and 🎉celebrate that part of my personality. I can’t be the only person who 📚reads at the same time I watch 📺Netflix or exercises while listening to podcasts. Busyness, though, can be 😬overwhelming if I let it take over again. I just need to make sure I have a better balance than I had before this quarantine.

What if…we all spend this ⏰time really thinking about it? Choose something. Make a plan.✅ This time will pass, and it’ll be time to act. Who do you want to be?💖



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s