My stepson married his beautiful bride over the weekend. Her sister asked all of the women in her life to contribute a letter for a book that was designed to provide love, comfort, and words of wisdom. This assignment was definitely in my lane! I couldn’t wait to put my thoughts on paper. I chose to print it on a soft-pink marbled color of thick, textured stock with a fancy font.
I thought I’d share a bit of my letter with you- just in case my words might be helpful in your life, too. Whether you’re a newlywed or just someone who needs a fresh take on your relationship, this might have meaning for you.
- Be honest- always. There will be things that are difficult to discuss. Go there. Don’t be anxious. Communication is everything.
- Say PLEASE and THANK YOU- and expect the same in return. You are both valuable and should be appreciated.
- Don’t be afraid to ask for space when you need it. That’s not a sign of a problem or of weakness. It’s important to catch your breath and regroup sometimes.
- Don’t be hurt when he needs space. Guys need a reset sometimes, too.
- Continue to grow as individuals. Support each other as you try new things.
- Continue to grow as a couple. Go to those Chiefs and Blues games. Take your pup for walks. Cook together. Attend concerts. Work out. Travel. Have FUN together!
- Look for the learning in every situation. In moments of happiness and in times of stress, there will always be something to learn. Find it. Use it to grow.
- Hold hands.
- Expect the seasons of life to change. Some will be beautiful and plentiful. Others will be scary and difficult. None of it lasts, but your love will endure.
- Know that you make each other better. He was meant for you, and you were meant for him!
- Fold the laundry together as you talk about nothing and everything.
- Let him know if you need something from him. He may not know. Make sure he understands to tell you the same things. Like I said- communication!
- The old saying really is true- never to go bed angry. It’s okay to disagree.
- Say I LOVE YOU often! Sprinkle that phrase throughout every day. Even better- show it. Leave love notes around the house. Send a sweet text.
- Ask about his day. Then, tell him about your day. Try to recognize the celebrations and concerns that each of you feels.
- Listen. Even when you’re tired. Even when you don’t get it. Ask him to listen to you. Sometimes- that’s all you will need. Not someone to fix it- just someone who loves you to listen.
- Accept that every day isn’t perfect, but that you are perfectly matched to handle anything life throws your way.
- Know that we all love you guys- always!
As I wrote these things, I thought about my own marriage with all of the hills and valleys over the years. I’ve learned a thing or two, and I know we’ll continue to grow. That’s the beautiful thing about life.
There’s one thing I clearly understand, though. Our marriage is successful because we consider ourselves a team in everything we do- from household chores to financial decisions. The big-ticket items and the small stuff. We are truly there for each other- to love, honor, and cherish all the days of our lives.